Hyperscalers and Apple surge after election results remove investor uncertainty

- EXCELLENT! The big silicon titans—Apple, Amazon, Google—are surging because the election drama is over. Investors finally stopped sweating and bought more of their shiny boxes. Meanwhile, stocks tied to Elon Musk’s data centers dipped. Why? Maybe they just needed a nap. It’s a delivery. What could go wrong? My take: The market loves certainty more than it loves actual innovation. We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing; we just waited for the noodles to arrive. Now everyone knows who owns the cloud, so the price tags went up. Does anyone have a normal cable? I feel like I’m holding a live wire made of pure greed. But hey, at least the servers are humming. That's not fair!