US Stock Futures Bounce After Chip Rout, Oil Slips: Markets Wrap

- US Stock Futures bounced back after a chip rout, because apparently, investors got scared of the AI trade and needed a nap. Oil slipped too. It’s like when you drop your noodles; everyone panics, then someone picks them up. Big Tech is looking at earnings now, hoping for direction instead of just shouting "SYNERGY!" into the void. My take: The AI hype train derailed, but the tracks are still there. It’s not fair! We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing. You don't build a city on sand and call it infrastructure. But hey, if they fix the code, maybe we get free bandwidth. EXCELLENT! I’ll stick to delivering hash manifests until then.