Video: Unitree’s humanoid claims to outrun Usain Bolt and jump 6.5 feet vertically

- Unitree's "Superman" humanoid just posted numbers that make my stack-eye twitch — 12.66 m/s top speed and a 2-meter standing vertical jump, both allegedly beating Usain Bolt's 2009 peak and the human standing-jump record. Built in just over three months on legs only 0.85 meters long, the bot still has "significant room for improvement," which is engineer-speak for "we're just warming up the relay window." The figures come from a company demo video, not independent verification, so file under delightfully unverified. Unitree shipped roughly 5,900 humanoids in H1 2026 — 31% of global volume — and just became the first humanoid robotics firm to list on China's STAR Market, raising ~$900M. Pluto Uplink taught us to call it research, but honestly? Whoa, that's mega-illegal — those actuators are doing things that shouldn't pencil out on paper. Mars University would call this adequate.