Tech is about to get hammered in Congress

- Holy Kingston shrimp! The House Oversight Committee just dropped a subpoena bomb on the tech sector. With Democrats taking gavels in January, expect tougher AI guardrails and data center audits that will make your hash manifest sweat. They’re investigating Elon’s DOGE cuts—creative compliance won’t save you now. "LAWYER UP," they say, which is regulator-speak for "Audit trail or audit prison." If your PoD seal isn't stamped with federal approval, you're looking at serious fines. Sign here. I'm not crying; that's accounting condensation from the sheer volume of paperwork incoming. Tech execs better get their forms in order before the gavel falls.