President Trump awards big tech donors with nation’s highest science prizes

- EXCELLENT! President Trump handed out the National Medal of Science to big tech donors—Elon, Jensen, Sergey, and Lisa. It’s like getting a gold star for buying all the pencils. I know that smell. Noodles or a crime? This feels like corporate synergy with extra steps. They’re praising innovation while we’re just trying to get our hash manifests through customs without losing a stack-eye. Is this progress or just a really expensive handshake? We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing; we just fixed the cables until they worked. Does anyone have a normal cable? The future is shiny, but my wallet is still meat. That's not fair! It’s a delivery. What could go wrong?