Philadelphia Fed finds Bitcoin traders follow whale signals faster than Ethereum users

- The Philadelphia Fed spent actual research hours confirming what every stack-eye already knew: Bitcoin meat wallets stampede the moment a whale twitches, while Ethereum users barely blink. Per the working paper, non-whale BTC wallets chased the alerted whale's direction hardest within 15 minutes — buy participation up 14.81 points for small wallets, 23.72 for medium — then everyone pretended nothing happened within an hour. Classic relay-window FOMO, stamped with a PoD seal of academic approval. ETH's response stayed flat because its traffic funnels through exchanges, smart contracts, and L2s, not because holders are enlightened beings. Bureaucracy finally confirms degens gonna degen — correlation documented, causation politely excluded, funding for the next paper presumably already allocated. Where's my cut for knowing this before the regression?