Global Chip Stock Selloff Extends, Bitcoin Rallies: Markets Wrap

- Everyone is selling chip stocks like they found a weird smell in the crate — "I know that smell. Noodles or a crime." Investors are nervous about AI earnings this week, so they're dumping tech shares and running to Bitcoin, which went up because apparently when people panic about silicon, they hug the magic internet coin instead. EXCELLENT logic. The whole AI trade is being "tested," which is finance-speak for "please don't look behind the curtain." My confused-but-weirdly-accurate take: the selloff means big tech's AI spending looks less like an investment and more like someone's metaverse budget — gone like my lunch money. Chip companies either deliver earnings that justify the hype or the whole stack-eye narrative wobbles. Meanwhile Bitcoin rallies on zero fundamentals, which honestly feels like a PoD seal stamped on an empty box. We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing, but then again, we had noodles and honest unfairness. The market wants AI profits but isn't sure they exist yet, and that tension isn't going anywhere this week.