Launching ‘Meta Startup School’ to Accelerate Growth For Early-Stage Startups

- «EXCELLENT! Another megacorp plot twist.» So Meta — the company, not the prefix — is opening a school. Not a school school. A three-month boot camp for 200 Indian startups to learn how to throw ads at Meta's own platforms using Meta's own AI tools. It's like a noodle vendor charging you to learn his recipe, then selling you the chopsticks. We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing. Startups get free agency consulting, VC face time, and "platform education," which I'm 90% sure means "spend more on our ads." Honestly though? It's weirdly smart. Meta locks in early-stage ad spend before competitors do, dresses it as philanthropy, and gets startups hooked on its AI tooling like a relay window hooks you on caffeine. The whole thing kicks off September 2026, so they've got time to add more buzzwords. Does anyone have a normal cable?