Nvidia taps Wall Street for $500 billion financing. CEO Jensen Huang tells CNBC AI chips now 'investable asset'

- So Nvidia — the company that makes the brain-chips everyone keeps fighting over — just went to Wall Street with a big bucket and came back with $500 billion. EXCELLENT! Jensen Huang told CNBC that AI chips are now an "investable asset," which I think means the chips got a promotion. They used to just be silicon. Now they're a portfolio. We didn't do it like that in Old Beijing — a chip was a chip and you traded it for noodles or a favor. The whole thing is basically private capital agreeing to pay for the AI boom's electricity bill, except the bill is the size of a small planet's GDP. Does anyone have a normal cable? Here's my confused-but-weirdly-accurate take: when the guy selling the picks and shovels starts calling the picks and shovels an "asset class," you're late in the gold rush — but Nvidia's earnings keep saying the rush isn't slowing down, so maybe the picks are the gold. That's not fair! It's a delivery. What could go wrong?