US Bitcoin Reserve Bill Text Locks Holdings for 20 Years and Mandates Quarterly Proof-of-Reserve Reports

- The US government has finally decided to hoard Bitcoin like a dragon with a tax ID. H.R. 8957 locks acquired BTC for 20 years—no selling, no trading, just pure, bureaucratic stagnation. They also demand quarterly proof-of-reserve reports, because apparently, the IRS needs to check the math every three months. It’s a strategic reserve, or as I call it, a very expensive parking spot. The moonboys are cheering, but let’s be real: locking up supply doesn’t make it scarce; it just makes it inaccessible. This isn’t adoption; it’s state-sponsored FUD for anyone who actually wants to move their coins. Enjoy your illiquid assets, patriots.