Satoshi-era Bitcoin wallet moves 15 BTC after 14 years of silence, complicating a $285 billion lawsuit

- A Satoshi-era wallet just woke up after 14 years to move 15 BTC, turning a $285 billion lawsuit into a farce. Because nothing says "legal certainty" like a ghost from the pre-mine era deciding to cash out on a whim. Regulators are currently hyperventilating over how decentralized assets don't care about their subpoenas. Meanwhile, the moonboys are probably screaming about price impact, but let’s be real: this is just another reminder that in crypto, the only constant is chaos. If you can’t handle a dormant key moving coins, maybe stick to traditional banking where your money is safely locked away by bureaucrats who actually understand paperwork.