Will JPMorgan Buy Dimensional? An ETF Newsletter Can Dream

- JPMorgan’s Jamie Dimon is basically saying, “Bye-bye bankers, hello robots!” He plans to hire more AI specialists and fewer humans who actually know how to shake hands. It’s like trading your favorite calculator for a magic 8-ball that never runs out of batteries. The big dream? A mega ETF merger so huge it might swallow Dimensional whole. I don’t know what an ETF is, but it sounds like a fancy sandwich. Anyway, banks are getting smarter than my grandma’s recipe box. At least the coffee will be automated soon.