Ethereum treasury giant offers 9.5% payout as BitMine paper losses top $8.5 billion

- BitMine, Thomas Lee’s Ethereum treasury vanity project, is bleeding $8.5 billion in paper losses and panicking. To keep the dream alive, they’re issuing preferred stock with a 9.5% payout to raise $300 million. Because nothing says “stable investment” like financing a crypto bet with debt while the asset tanks. They claim staking yields will cover the dividends, but let’s be real: if ETH doesn’t moon, that 9.5% becomes a compounding nightmare capped at a juicy 15%. It’s Strategy’s playbook but with more volatility and less Bitcoin dignity. Investors are essentially buying a coupon on a sinking ship, hoping the staking rewards act as a life raft. Classic hustle culture: borrow money to buy the dip, hoping the dip never ends.