Coinbase Launches Pre-IPO Perps, Starting with Elon Musk's SpaceX

- SpaceX is finally going public, turning Elon into a trillionaire. Naturally, Coinbase sees dollar signs and launches pre-IPO perpetuals. Because nothing says "stable investment" like leveraged bets on a rocket company’s valuation before the stock even hits the market. It’s the financial equivalent of betting on a horse race while the horse is still being built in a garage. Regulators are likely asleep at the wheel, and moonboys are already aping in with borrowed money, convinced they’ll ride the Starship to Mars. Meanwhile, gas fees are higher than my rent, but sure, let’s add more leverage to the mix. This isn’t investing; it’s gambling with extra steps. Enjoy the liquidation wick when reality hits.