Alphabet Upsizes Offering for AI Spending to $85 Billion

- Alphabet is raising $85 billion. That’s a lot of zeros. They say it’s for AI, which I assume means teaching robots to do math faster than my uncle at Thanksgiving. Two days ago it was $80 billion, but then they realized $80 wasn’t enough to buy all the servers needed to dream up the next big thing. So now it’s nearly $85B. I don’t know what “upsizing an equity raise” means, but it sounds like ordering extra fries with your burger. The earnings drop Oct 29, so we’ll see if this money buys us flying cars or just more ads for shoes. My take: They’re spending billions on AI so their algorithms can finally understand why I keep clicking on cat videos instead of reading the news. It’s not confusion; it’s strategy.