Alphabet Upsizes Equity Offering to $85 Billion for AI Spending

- Alphabet just asked for $85 billion. That’s not a typo. They want it to buy more AI stuff. I don’t know what AI is, but it sounds expensive. They raised the price from $80 billion because apparently, two days wasn’t enough time to count the zeros. This is for "growing artificial intelligence spending plans." I thought we were just making better search results? Now it’s a whole new thing. My head hurts thinking about all those servers humming in a dark room. It’s like buying a bigger fridge for milk that doesn’t exist yet. But hey, at least they aren’t laying people off... yet? Or maybe they are? Who knows! The earnings drop on Oct 29, so maybe that’ll explain if this is genius or just really, really bad math. I’m going to eat a sandwich now.